I went to a psychologist who had suggested Golden Cradle to me. I procrastinated about calling Golden Cradle until the end of my eighth month. When I finally did call, I was pleasantly surprised to be spoken to as a real person. I then scheduled a meeting with a counselor. When I arrived for my meeting, the atmosphere of the office was very warm and pleasant. The counselor seemed genuinely interested in my situation and made me feel that I was important and not a piece of trash.

     After being assigned a counselor, I had regularly scheduled visits with her. She helped me to see what was really in the best interest of my child and myself. I wrote down all of the "pros and cons", of placing my child and of parenting my child. Every once in a while, I pull out that piece of paper with the "pros and cons" and they still come out the same. The benefits of placing my child into a stable two-parent family far outweigh the benefits of trying to raise the child entirely on my own.

    I did let the father know that I was pregnant. His response was that the child wasn't his, and he didn't know who I was sleeping with. From that point on, he did everything possible to avoid me. He did not answer phone calls, letters, or even acknowledge me when I would confront him in public. Basically, he acted as if he never knew who I was. This made my decision to place that much clearer. The child would be better taken care of with a two-parent family. It is not that I didn't love my child. I just wasn't ready to be a parent; financially or emotionally. Things in my life were just too crazy.